Gosh…who knew three weeks could feel like three days. I’m trying not to think about Sunday. I’m really trying not to think about the days, weeks, and months that will follow. It will inevitably suck at first. We’re going to feel his absence. It will be permeable. A thick fog swirling about our feet.
This is the life we chose. I just don’t want to feel like my entire year was spent walking through a fog. Hazy, grey, and dull. I want so much for that feeling to be left behind in 2011. For my kids I’m going to try and make this year better than last. I’m going to try to pack so much fun into it that when they’re older and they remember the two years spent with out their father they’ll say, “Yeah it sucked, but we still managed to have fun and enjoy life.”
For myself I’m really going to focus on myself. My goals. My ambitions. My desires for my own life.
I’ll talk about that in detail later…