I am so angry.
My heart is broken.
My Church is broken. We are all broken.
Again this is happening.
Ireland and now Pennsylvania, and the sad reality is, that it’s probably not over.
I keep telling myself, it’s not the Church, is those put in charge of it. Men sin, men fail, our Church doesn’t, but it has. It’s failed in a massive way.
I am so sorry. I am angry with you. I want justice with you. I support you. This should never have happened to you. NEVER. I am humbled by your courage. I pray for your continued strength. I pray for your peace. I hope you get whatever you need to heal the hurt our Church has caused you.
As a mother, I can’t reconcile with the fact that those who were trusted. Loved. Held in high esteem took that trust and trampled it with their evil.
My children have served the altar. I have placed them in the loving arms of the Catholic Church because there is nothing better than coming to know Christ through the Eucharist. I believe that with the whole of my being.
My heart is broken, for the mothers, for the children whose trust and innocence was ripped from them.
I have been blessed to know truly holy men of God. Men who could never harm an innocent. Men for whom the love of God and our Church seems to pour out of them in golden, beautiful light. I look around me at the wonderful, beautiful, laypeople of our Church who give so much of themselves to our communities, helping those in need, ministering to the poor, the sick, the unwanted of all faiths and walks of life. I know their love comes from our Father in Heaven and is guided by the tenants of our faith.
The very same tenants, that teach us to uphold the dignity of every human life, from it’s conception to it’s death. What about the dignity of those who were harmed? I want to scream, to shout, to shake someone, I am so angry. I am so hurt. I feel so betrayed.
I am a catechist. I have taught many children the beauty of Catholicism. When I think of their innocence, of their trust and imagine the children who were harmed by this disgusting evil it is almost too much to bear. Children were raped… by priests. Has that sunk in? It hasn’t for me. It never will.
My heart is broken for them. My heart is broken for our broken Church.
I am so sick of the ambiguous addresses from our clergy… from our Pontiff. We, the mothers and daughters of our faith, need to stand up and demand change. We must demand any cover-ups be brought into the light. We must demand this never is allowed to happen again.
I pray our glorious Mother in Heaven, wrap our brokenness up in her arms and offer us the comfort only a mother can give to her injured children. She witnessed her son’s physical breaking on the cross, his heartbreak, she remained strong despite it. We must look to her strength, to her trust in our Father, and not lose hope. We shall be healed of this sin because Her Son made it so. We will come out of the dark, stronger and better.
Christ’s mercy is beautiful and glorious to behold. Our Churches are supposed to be sanctuaries of His mercy, forgiveness, and peace. They are supposed to be safe places to land. We must purge our Churches of this sin. We must beg forgiveness. We must love the sinner but not allow them to continue to serve our Church. My faith calls me to forgive. My faith calls me to offer mercy. It is so hard. So very hard. I don’t care that it happened years ago. It happened.
We, the laypeople of our beautiful Church must demand these evil men and anyone who had a hand at covering up their sin be purged from our Church. The Church is ours. It is not theirs to do with what they will.
We are broken, but through Christ, we shall be healed. Men fail us. God will not.
Nicole Olea’s love language is communication. She does this best using her keyboard as a freelance copywriter and editor. Creative and resilient with high-level experience in social media management, content creation, and eCommerce marketing, Nicole Olea was a professional volunteer, sharing her skills with various non-profit organizations who paid her in hugs. For the last 20 years, she’s lived a quasi-nomadic life, moving across the country and the Atlantic with her active-duty husband and their three kids. She’s awkwardly stumbling toward her goal of becoming a saint. She’s got God-sized dreams and wants you to have them too!