Parenting

A Convo with my kids: Parks in Italy & Gelato.

November 24, 2012 By Nicole Olea 3 Comments

Convo I had earlier with my sons…on the car ride home after the park, and after stopping at the supermarket for ice cream.

Boy child 1: Mom, will there be parks in Italy?

Me:Yes, there will be parks in Italy as there are kids in Italy who like to play at parks just like you.

Boy child 1: The kids will speak Italian right?

Me: Pretty sure they will.

Boy child 1: But I don’t speak Italian.

Me: Well you were playing with a boy who spoke Spanish, and you don’t really speak Spanish, how’d that go for you?

Boy child 1: It went well.

Me: It should go well with Italian kids too.

Boy child 2: Mom, is there ice cream in Italy?

Me: Yes. It’s called gelato.

Boy child 2: Does it come in strawberry?

Me: Yes.

Boy child: Can we go there now?

Me: I wish.

Filed Under: Italy, kids & parenting, My Life As A Singleton, Parenting Tagged With: conversation with my kids, gelato, Italy, park

LIVE Each Day

November 18, 2012 By Nicole Olea 3 Comments

Today in Mass the Father gave a sermon about the end of days, and how people are afraid of death, instead of living their lives to the fullest each and every day. It was pretty awesome.

My son Michael has been totally freaked out this last week because a kid at school told him about the Mayan calendar and that the world was going to end on December 21. Needless to say, when our Priest began discussing the end of days he reached for my hand and and squeezed. He might have even shut his eyes tight waiting for the bad news.

Except there was none. The message was not about death or the end of this world, which let’s face it, none of us can say with absolute certainty when-if ever life as we know it will end. But rather about life and the amazing gift we have been given. He really understood the message in a way I think only a child can. To live each and every day like it was your first, your last, and your only day here on earth. Eat the chocolate cake for breakfast. Jump into that pile of freshly raked leaves, and dance in the rain. For no other reason than it is fun and it makes your soul rejoice. A child is often times unburdened by their mortality-though my son seems to understand that there is a circle to our lives, in a way that is much more grown up than he should. I suppose he does have an old soul after all.

I myself found the readings hit “home” for me to, not because I fear the end of time, but because they seemed to fit in so perfectly with what I’m writing right now.

If you care to read the Bible readings for today’s Mass they were Daniel 12: 1-3 and Mark 13: 24-32

I wouldn’t be surprised if these readings weren’t in part quoted some where in my MS too.

Love & Life,

nicōle

photo: living-loudly.tumblr.com

Filed Under: My Life As A Singleton, Parenting, What Inspires Tagged With: calendar, catholic, Daniel 12: 1-3, end of days, life, Mark 13: 24-32, Mass, mayan

Virtual World Virtual Money

November 5, 2012 By Nicole Olea 5 Comments

When I was a kid, (8, 9, 10, years old) the things I’d ask my parents for money for were to go buy a Slurpee or some candy at our local 7-Eleven. Eventually my asking got my mom to thinking an she instituted an allowance for me. When a kid has to spend their own money on the things they want they tend to think twice about exactly how they’re going to spend it.

I think I’ve come to the same point with my boys specifically my eldest son Michael who is eight. Except he’s not asking me for some spare change to run into a convenience store. He’s asking for “virtual” things, like apps for the iPad or credit on his Sony PlayStation account. Purchasing these things are fine, but he never sees the money used to buy these virtual items. It’s like there’s this thing called money and it’s floating somewhere in the ethos. I rarely spend hard cash when making purchases and I only go into a bank when absolutely necessary. The only time my son sees the actual green stuff is when I have to send him to school with money for something. All this virtual spending leaves many kids like my son with no concept of money or where it comes from. They see their parents pay for things with credit or debit cards and now even with their cell phones. My son knows how to use my iPhone to pay for my Vanilla Latte at Starbucks. This got me to thinking… With all this virtual spending going on, Is it harder to teach our kids about the value of a dollar because they never see it?

It is very important for me as a parent to teach my kids how to be responsible with their money. I don’t’ want them to be afraid of having it, earning, it, or spending it. I think the more comfortable they are with money, it will be easier for them to handle their finances when they become adults. However, with everything, it takes practice and good habits. Many parents are concerned about keeping their kids healthy and giving them good eating habits-which is extremely important, but I also thing good financial habits are also important and best instilled like healthy eating habits when they’re young.

I’ve come up with a few ideas to teach my son to spend his money wisely virtual or not. One of the ways is by using iTunes and Sony PlayStation network cards. That way he knows how much he has and if there is something big he wants and he doesn’t have enough he’ll have to save his allowance to in order to have more.

Which bring me to an allowance. Up until now he hasn’t had one. Let me back up, that’s not exactly true. Right before we moved to Miami and my husband began his two year tour in South Korea I was in the process of starting an allowance for Michael who was at the time six years old. I think we did it for about two weeks and then we moved and life has been sort of on hold for a lot of things…his allowance is just one of those things.

We’ll be moving in a couple of months and that is expensive. I think now is a good time as any to start teaching him about expenses and saving. I’ll do that with a weekly allowance and a chart where he will list his “wants” (all of his needs are taken care of course), “saving”, and a list for “helping”. Under the “wants” will be things like video games, toys, apps etc. Under the “saving” chart he’ll list wants he can’t yet afford, and under “helping” will be ways he can use his money to help others. Either in the form of donating a percentage to our Church, a charity, or even a bum on the street. I think with this my son will be well on his way to becoming a financially responsible and independent adult.

Article written using Genworth Financial Educational Resources. Opinions expressed are my own. For more information about financial services visit the Genworth Financial website.

Filed Under: My Life As A Singleton, Parenting Tagged With: allowance, apps, charity, finances, Genworth, iTunes, money, saving, Soney Playstation, spending, teaching kids about money, virtual

A Mime In Starbucks

October 13, 2012 By Nicole Olea 15 Comments

So I went into my lovely neighborhood Starbucks to grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte and my son, out of the blue started to Mime. Being the drama head that I am, I of course had my camera ready…

Love & goofy kids who totally get it from their mother,
nicōle

The video was recorded using my iPhone 4 and edited in iMovie for iPhone.

Filed Under: Apple, humor, My Life As A Singleton, Parenting, video Tagged With: kid, mime, Starbucks

Wine Makes Everything Better #SingletonParenting

September 19, 2012 By Nicole Olea 11 Comments

This afternoon my kids really tested my patience. Sassy mouths, whining, and all together mischievous behavior. After I put a stop to that nonsense I opened up a bottle of Pinot Noir and poured myself a few glasses.

Wine my secret weapon for not going off the edge!

To connect with other imperfect Moms who do things like circumcise their sons, formula feed, co-sleep, and yes, dare I say it, drink wine in front of their kid, check out Jen’s link up.

Filed Under: My Life As A Singleton, Parenting, video Tagged With: bad mommy, crazy, drinking, Imperfect, Kids, Life with Levi, military, mom, mothers, parent, parents, single, singleton, vino, wine, writers

Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst

November 2, 2011 By Nicole Olea 1 Comment

I was reminded yesterday how fragile life really is.

In a heartbeat things can change.

Which got me to thinking about sad things, but things that as a parent, one must think about and prepare for; the most important being, what would happen to my children should I pass from this life?

Morbid I know…

Of course the first thing to do his “hope for the best, but plan for the worst.” One of the first things to do when planning for such a catastrophe is to get life insurance. Thank fully my husband and I have insurance through the Air Force. A while back I wondered if it would be enough and found I had no answer to this question. My first instinct was, although it’s a sizable amount, I don’t think it would be sufficient. When I’m in doubt about something I Google it and I discovered that for life insurance one should have enough coverage to pay off any expenses or debts, then enough for you dependents to live off of. I found this handy insurance calculator that was very helpful and through my research found many companies offer an online life insurance quote as well as companies who provide insurance with no medical exam.

As I mentioned before, my husband and I are lucky, we’ve got some life insurance through the military, and we’re also members of a great company called USAA which only serves the military and their families and is the company we use for all of our financial planning.

It’s hard to think about these things, making wills, planning for the inevitable, but it’s something that we as parents must do.

Filed Under: life, Military Life, Parenting Tagged With: life insurance quotes, online, USAA

“Mothers of Men”

May 6, 2011 By Nicole Olea 4 Comments

I wrote this post way back on June 16, 2009. Raising men, isn’t easy-but no one ever said it would be….

I was searching the web for a quote on “struggle” and I came across this:

“The bravest battle that ever was fought; Shall I tell you where and when? On the maps of the world you will find it not; It was fought by the mothers of men” - Joaquin Miller

This quote spoke to me, for a number of reasons. The most obvious being that I am a “mother of men”, and I often think about what kind man I want them to be it becomes plainly obvious to me that I am not raising little boys, but men.

Motherhood is a battle, a battle of wills (theirs and mine) a battle that I don’t always win, even if I am “the adult” (as my husband likes to point out). I choose my battles wisely, and some aren’t worth fighting. For instance if my little guy wants to wear one red and one brown sock with orange shorts and Crocs, or splash a little lot in the tub I let him.

Then there are times when I’m not as wise, and I’m easily upset because he won’t sit still or even fights me when I want to style his hair and he’s refusing me and the hair gel in my hand. I’m upset because he’s not bending to my will, when it was my choices that allowed him to know that he has a will of his own, and a strong character and sense of self is something I value and want him to have.

But these “battles” are small, and insignificant in the grand scheme. The larger battles are truly fought within my heart, the wretched feeling of guilt that can sometimes shadow motherhood. You know it, the questions and self doubt. Am I doing the right thing? Is he getting enough of my time? I fight those silently, and in my own mind. Ultimately concluding that as a mother I can only do the best I can, learn as I go, and lean to other mothers for advice, comfort, and the reassurance that they fight their own battles too.

But then there are those battles where I stand my ground, and it is a simple one to win, because it’s not really a battle at all, and that is to shower my little men each and every day with all the love I hold for them, and that they never doubt for one moment that they are valued, loved, and cherished for themselves. Because to love my children, and have thier love returned is my life’s greatest blessing.

To read the full poem this quote came from - Motherhood by Joaquin Miller click here

Filed Under: Parenting, Personal, quotes Tagged With: raising boys

I’m Going To Miss This

December 30, 2010 By Nicole Olea 4 Comments

Motherhood is fleeting in a way. Our pregnancies, in retrospect-fly by, as do those early newborn you don’t know if it’s day or night, or if you’re coming or going phase. Then things start to settle down and in the blink of an eye the first year has past and you marvel at how much your baby has grown and perhaps you think to yourself, I can’t believe I’m doing this, I am a MOM. Somewhere between their first piece of birthday cake and the sticky mess that ensues you may even access in the back of your mind how much you’ve grown this first year and how the love for your little one has grown exponentially and far faster or greater than you ever thought possible.

Yes. Motherhood is fleeting. Before we know our little babies are toddlers who staunchly say to you, “I do it. I DO IT!” When-in a rush to get out the door for some appointment you are inevitably late to you try to dress them, or put their tiny shoes on their little feet. But, the look of determination and independence on their precious face causes you to pause. To take a deep breath and sit and watch and count your blessings that you get to bear witness to and be apart of this very mundane, yet so very important part of your child’s development.

When, after what seems like an eternity by that ever ticking hand on your watch the shoes are on and your ready to go out the door you can’t help but smile and be proud at their major accomplishment a mirror no doubt of your child’s face.

Before you know it, it’s the first day of school and you’re putting on your brave face while you can’t believe how amazing your child is doing. You wait and watch them, and when you think they’re not going to look for you-for one final good-bye before their new adventure begins you see it and smile. Yes. Motherhood is fleeting, and while I’m reminded of Shakespeare’s As You Like It, suddenly while I write this; I can’t help but smile at my boys- who at this very moment have dumped their toys (they should be cleaning up) and are hiding under the baskets pretending to be superheros in disguise. It’s no Norman Rockwell scene, but what about motherhood, childhood, or life in general for that matter really is? Motherhood is messy. It’s exhausting and magical, frightening and empowering, it can make you feel completely alone and like you belong to a special sisterhood-in short-motherhood is hard work. It is with-out-a-doubt the most important thing I will ever do. Somedays I want to pull my hair out, then others I wipe tears from my eyes when I’m struck by how blessed I truly am.

Earlier today I had just such a moment, when my little Evan awoke up from his nap-his eyes still half closed, blanket and his kitty cat in tow; a,”I’m still tired, and why are you not still laying next to me?” whine escaping from his lips. I scooped him up into my arms where he fell right back to sleep. He’s not done that for some time and I couldn’t help but recall all those precious moments when he was brand new. When I sat and held him while he slept, then I thought of Michael and how much he’s grown in six years and how I’m looking forward to, albeit with a slight trepidation (How I wish they could stay little just a while longer!) for all the firsts and everything else that life has in store for us. I couldn’t help but think how much I’m going to miss these days when my boys still come to be for cuddles and to kiss bruised knees.

Once we become mothers we are mothers for the rest of our lives, but it’s not fair that our time with our little ones passes so quickly. I plan on being even more mindful of how short childhood really is, and take the time to basque in the little things that when it’s all said and done my children will remember and I will look back upon fondly. I will not think about the late appointments, or how-for instance it’s taken me just two hours to write this post, because in those two hours I’ve stopped to roast marshmallows over our stove for an impromptu treat, I’ve blown raspberries at a toy cannon, and did forward rolls on our living room floor. Two hours filled with laughter, and tickles of silly faces and big round eyes full of wonderment. It was two hours well spent and although motherhood is fleeting, I intend to soak up every last second!

xo,

Filed Under: Parenting, Personal Tagged With: childhood, motherhood, time

Noisy, Colorful, Lively

July 19, 2010 By Nicole Olea 1 Comment

I came across this the other day and I was instantly attracted to it. So I set it aside and decided I’d write about it later on.

I looked at it again this morning and was suddenly struck with…well, the obvious.

I’m sure, beyond a reasonable doubt when Mel Brooks made this statement, “If you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, colorful, and lively.” He was talking about children. I’m also pretty sure (we share the same birthday - that’s why I’m sure) he was specifically talking about my children.

No. He’s never actually met my kids. But that has no bearing on the fact that he was talking about them.

Allow me to explain further…

Last Sunday after Mass we took our boys to Wal-Mart. They behaved so perfectly whilst in Church that we must have been high on joy because we thought we’d be able to go in and get out relatively quickly.

I don’t know what we were thinking. I really don’t.

An hour and a half later, after chasing after, bribing, and then finally giving in and feeding them a McDonald’s happy meal we managed to get out unscathed.

I say unscathed because no one was physically injured this time.

The last time we went to Wal-Mart Evan, while trying to get out of the cart fell backwards into a very full cart of groceries. Luckily he landed on the bread and cereal boxes and by some miracle of God managed to not crush the eggs.

Again, I don’t know what we were thinking because after Wal-Mart we made a go for Costco.

Yes. The hubs and I are gluttons for punishment. We must be.

Ten minutes into our food sampling escapades Michael decided he was tired and needed to sit down. Off went the husband to fetch a second cart so that both boys can sit in the ginormous basket that is a Costco shopping cart.

Things were going rather smoothly after that. Until we reached the frozen food section when Mike decided he’d had a rest and no longer felt tired. Evan being the little brother understandably wants to be “like Mike” -so as soon as Michael’s feet hit the floor, Evan began wailing to be let out. A worried glance passed before the husband and I as we set the little guy free under the assumption that his father would hold his hand and I’d push the cart.

Things didn’t happen quite like that.

Picture this:

Little boy running a muck in a very crowded over-sized super center. Me feeling like I could use a drink. (Or rather grabbing a bottle from the wine section cracking it open against that huge and mostly empty cart and chugging straight from the bottle-while trying not to cut my lips.)

It didn’t take long for the hubs and I to decide to call it quits. While I checked out he went off and bought them a berry smoothie.

Looking back though-while I sit here at nap time I can’t help but smile. My children know how to live. They are full of color, vibrant liveliness, and with all that Cuban blood in them they certainly are noisy!

As much as I’m smiling right now, I don’t think we’re going to try shopping together as a family for at least another ten years.

Yeah right. Who am I kidding. We’ll be back at it this weekend!

Photo: weheartit.com

Filed Under: humor, Parenting, quotes Tagged With: Costco, crazy kids, Mel Brooks, Parenting, Wal-mart

Whimsy Me

July 15, 2010 By Nicole Olea Leave a Comment

Photo: Alice Wainwright Park, Miami, FL. Source: www.flickr.com/photos/vgm8383

I woke up with a sense of whimsy.

Whimsy as defined by dictionary.com is the quality or state of being whimsical or fanciful.

Yep. I’m feeling whimsical; much like I did when I would play dress up in my mother’s heels or hide and seek among the coral rock of Wainwright Park. A park that was magical through my little girl eyes. A place where my grandmother would take me almost daily on our afternoon walks when I was a gaped tooth little freckle-face.

I would imagine I was on a great safari on walks through the “jungle” or an archeologist climbing to her next great discovery as I scaled the greatest coral mountain ever to be discovered.

Imagination is important. It is important for me to foster a love for the imaginary, for the magic that can only be found in make-believe in my boys. I think I’ll build a den out of sheets today (it’s bed linen washing day after all) and play with my boys. I’ll start us off on some adventure and hand the reins over to Michael and let him take us to places only his imagination can think up. I think I’ll start us off skateboarding in space or riding a roller coaster into the ocean.

Filed Under: Parenting, What Inspires Tagged With: make-believe, play, Wainwright Park